Temperaments reveal under pressure. It’s easier to be patient and kind when things are well, or when meeting a new person. How you treat someone during exciting or rough times is what determines how far a relationship will go and how long it will last. Temperaments are your nature, the real person revealed through thought patterns, reactions or behaviors. They show characteristics and aspects of your personality that you were born with. They are also innate, which shows how you naturally respond to things.
Experts suggest that early infancy stages show temperaments. Infants are either “calm, nervous, and or anxious.” So, typically these traits may follow them into adulthood. And, depending on the natures of others, they can bring out these emotions in us.
Are you calm around anxious people?
Are you anxious around peaceful people?
Are you nervous around both anxious and relaxed people?
Each characteristic can spin off of the other. You must self-assess to learn if your persona carries one or all three traits. Some of you may recall being nervous and anxious around people. Perhaps you grew up this way because you didn’t know how to use your voice. Anxiety prevents many from speaking around aggressive, authority type figures. As a result, some may choose to write letters to express themselves. Once you understand your fears and begin to work through them, care can surpass them and nurture the soul. Firstly, you have to be around caring and nurturing people to understand this sentiment. Care is an innate nature, but mean, hurting people, and the woes of life can strip the trait from you.
I departed for a family trip and to meet with two clients a while ago. Before leaving, a quote lands on my heart, “wherever you go, you will need to show love and grace.” If your family is similar to mine, we love each other, have light disagreements and sometimes react under various pressures. My parents are getting older. You know they need lots of love and patience. Honestly, I did not think about the quote anymore–even while there after two days.
But then.
My oldest niece who has a beloved son lost her keys and needed to get to work. She and mom conversed on the phone. Mom encouraged her to look in different areas to locate them. I hear the conversation, and take over by saying, “Hey! After you look more for the keys, call me, and I’ll pick him up.” The quote stood before me with a gentle nudge to say, “wherever you go, you will need to show love and grace.” Before I could call back, the phone rang, and my niece asked me to help her by coming to get him. I agreed instantly. For the duration of the trip, I showed care, love, and grace. What helped most was constantly repeating the quote in my head. This repetition kept it before me and put the demand on my actions to show it. I mention this story to demonstrate the importance of how love and grace begin with family, then spreads abroad with balance.
Shortly after, I discovered when meeting with clients requires the same traits. Many newbies and their start-ups require patience and understanding. When you pose the right questions and guidance, you’ll learn how much and little knowledge they have for business. Guided conversation starters can also reveal their temperaments and backgrounds. When this happens, you may need to add a small amount of coaching to the mix. As you listen and do less talking, you’ll learn their triggers, mental capacities, what they love and discomforts. Some may disagree with how lines can blur between coaching and consult, and seemingly with the depths of how business relationships form. Contrary to popular belief, personal lines of communication sometimes are found in business conversations. It takes skill and psychological understandings to know boundaries. But, care, love, and grace are needed temperaments for business.
Love nurtures while grace sustains. There are different types of clients. Your caring nature will reveal their natures. Please understand, some clients can feel extremely comfortable enough just to share their personal stories and experiences. Other clients may try to contact you for personal counseling, too. When there is an intense thirst for help, people can sense your ability to assist and counsel them. When this happens, it is always wise to place boundaries using love and grace. Thus, redirecting them to the sole purpose of meeting for business is a great added plus. They will understand, and still be grateful for this added guidance. Remember, you met with business terms that included love and grace, initially.