When Disappointments Strikes
Honestly, I find it hard to write certain pieces when my mind and heart are struck by lightning of disappointments. Even if I contributed to or provoked the pain, or I experience the old adage “hurt people hurt people,” writing my unfinished books or articles may not happen at that time.
One day I received disappointing news from a family member that my favorite older cousin expired. I was home two weeks prior to the announcement.
I grew up spending nights at her home. While out shopping, she’d treat me to my favorite restaurants and outfits.
“Heyyy baby,” she called me with a mother’s sweetest affection. “How’s my baby doing? You coming to see me?” Cousin Nellie had a way with words to pull out a lasting smile from anyone.
She had a sense of humor that always left an indelible impression with all who came around. When I attended college, cousin Nellie continued to be in my corner.
As cousin Nellie became more seasoned in life, she developed dementia. My mother and father cared for her until her last breath. Each time I visited home, I made every effort to visit and assist with aiding her.
Cousin Nellie and I bonded more during her latter days. I helped comb her hair, bathe and feed her. We’d laugh together and no matter how far along her dementia was, she still called me “baby.”
I watched a strong woman wither away. Before her passing, I recall her propped up on the pillows lying in the middle of the bed with many layers of blankets. I laid there next to her on top of the covers and placed my head on her shoulder.
Our final conversation was about her fixing my meal. She loved to cook and always made sure to bake chicken, with a side of cabbage, rice, yellow chocolate cake and freshly squeezed lemonade.
So, I asked, “Cuz.”
“Are you ready to make my favorite meal?”
“Of course, baby! But, first, I gotta see what type of meats the store got.”
As our conversation continued, she started to doze. I kissed her forehead. “I’ll see you next time. Love you,” I whispered–not knowing it would be my last time seeing her.
What does disappointment mean?
Life. Can. Drive. You. Crazy. Right? As everyone believes, “If it ain’t one thing, it’s another.” Do you ever have days where one blow after another comes? Or, not sure what to do during disappointments?
I’ve seen a plethora of posts today of people venting about feelings of frustration, anger, hurts, pain and disappointment.
Oh, and the posts also talked about the latest news trends, which may contribute to our disappointments.
By the way, I have a podcast that talks about what to do during such times. We all have them. Some last for a day. Others can last for days, weeks, months and years.
I delve into 3 keys to help get you through the day. I believe in taking one day at a time and seizing bad moments as best as possible.
But, how do you deal with and overcome disappointments? This matters a lot for your future progress and growth in writing and business ownership.
I don’t mean to bore you with a definition you can google and fetch a dictionary to look up yourself. The denotations or actual meaning of words and phrases actually mean a lot in context.
Word meanings are layered just like your experiences. Besides, we’re surrounded and influenced more by people who consistently use words contextually.
Disappointments are the “feelings of sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one’s hopes or expectations.”
The word alone is an emotion that all boils down to an instant turn from happiness to being sad.
Take a listen to the podcast, “What To Do During Disappointments.”
Disappointments Will Pause Your Writing Flow
Yesterday might have been great for you. Then something happens that puts a pause in your writing flow.
A loved one may have hurt you, something hasn’t worked in your favor or the way you anticipated, or there’s been a separation in a relationship.
Waking up to bad news, an overdrawn bank account, electric turned off, car repossession, lack of partnership connection, or a death of a loved one can start off your mornings wrong.
I don’t know about you, but when one or all of the above hit me, they affect my thought-patterns and processes. Those encounters are very distracting.
You end up overthinking and want quick solutions to move on. At times these resolves don’t prevent the aftermath of emotions that come.
And, with such blows, it’s hard to go immediately into prayer…it’s easier to react with negative emotions.
If anything, they pause your daily activities and writing flow.
There are two reasons why this happens. 1. You’re experiencing disappointment and may be depressed about the matter. 2. The event(s) created stress for you.
As a result, these experiences lead to setbacks.
Here’s what I do during disappointments
1. First and foremost, I no longer fight or resist when life happens to disappointment me. I’ve come to accept the facts that things happen and I don’t have control over everything.
2. I don’t force writing during these moments. However, if I feel it’s something worth writing about in a poem or turning the events into fiction for a short story. That’s fine.
3. Some of you will find this hard to believe, but I also write music and play the keys. A few of my best songs have birthed from disappointing encounters and experiences. Most songwriters are best creative during these times, too.
4. When I step back from writing, I’ll go for a walk, spend quiet time reflecting, hit the wooden floor for some DFW Swingout dancing, call a friend to vent, listen to music, or get involved in other things I love to do.
5. I mentioned earlier that sometimes it’s hard to pray. While I feel that it is, I will meditate, journal my feelings, have conversations with God and read daily devotions. This really centers me once I give in to its gentle nudge.
6. Lastly, I must have conversations with my inner circle. They are my sounding board, too. My husband, family, spiritual mom and best friend are of high value in my life. This loving and affirming group showed me lots of support during the passing of cousin Nellie.
Finally, after all is said and done, when the disappointments lift enough, I can resume writing. It doesn’t take many days to return. Usually, after one or two days, I’m fine enough to get back to the swing of writing.
I understand the other side of this as well. It may take others longer to get over the conflict. Take what you need.
Any day can turn from frustration to contentment depending on your outlook, faith, and perspective. There are missing elements in your life that can help you during uncomfortable encounters.
These elements are important to your well-being and will eliminate trauma.