When Defeat Looks Bleak to Anxiety
When you defeat anxiety and live in the moment daily, it’s an incredible feeling. However, there’s a process of defeating this inner monster.
Confronting self is a strong discipline. And being self-aware is a lifelong process. This doesn’t mean it isn’t possible. Some people are still stuck at the thoughts of, “I’m my own worst enemy,” and deal with the “inner me.”
Anxiety stems from internal struggles, opposing thought-patterns, inconsistencies, hostile actions from others, and a host of what feels like frightening experiences. According to @BelievePHQ, this is what anxiety feels and looks like.
To defeat anxiety, consider a self-assessment
The day finally came, where enough was enough. I felt tired and exhausted. It was difficult to understand why I’d get anxiety attacks. My anxiety ignited in the areas of nausea, muscle tension, loss of appetite (which also means weight loss), overthinking, trembling and uncontrollable worries.
Something had to give because (1) I’m a business owner and (2) I could no longer take living with anxiety.
Business owners already experience small levels of stress. And, please let no one else tell you differently. It automatically comes with the territory of business.
I needed to understand my triggers. This is part of being self-aware; when you recognize that some encounters cause triggers. Up until meeting new people, I did absolutely remarkable and nothing occurred to cause anxiety.
Then, things began to take sour turns in a few of my relationships, which contributed greatly to my triggers. So, I began to research my feelings and thoughts.
Here’s what you may want to do to understand your anxiety.
Consider researching your “symptoms” and “feelings,” and why this happens. I googled “anxiety and friendship.” Of course, there were thousands of hits. I clicked on the headlines that resonated with me and were written by “legit” psychologists.
The symptoms I began to investigate miraculously led me to the term “attachment anxiety.” People with this anxiety will usually attract toxic people into their sphere. I wasn’t aware that I did this until I actually studied it.
Attachment anxiety still produces the underlying symptoms of anxiety. What’s added to this is that we’re very loving and nurturing by nature. And, we desire the same characteristics in return.
Whoever we meet, we just automatically expect for the individuals to be as nurturing. You see, at some point in our lives, there were individuals who provided this level of experience. Back then, it was healthy.
But, as life happens, you learn that not everyone is as open or vulnerable to be nurturing. You soon discover some people are toxic and by the time this opens, it’s too late because you’re already attached.
I didn’t have this knowledge until research and holding a conversation with the right people about my anxiety. Think about being transparent about your anxiety. Anxiety affects our actions and relationships. Talking and journaling about it really helps.
One day after my anxiety research, I sat down and pulled out my journal. I made two columns. One side had triggers while the other said boundaries. This self-assessment showed me that I didn’t have boundaries. So, next, I started new research on boundaries. Iyanla Vanzant has an incredible series about boundaries.
This list opened an incredible understanding of myself. I now grasp that I am in control of my life and relationships. And, I can have people in my life, where we meet each other halfway respecting each other’s boundaries.
When I finally conjured the gumption, I began the separation process from those who sparked triggers in order to begin to heal.
You cannot heal in the same places that created the pain.
Please keep this thought before you. You cannot heal in the same places that created the pain. Also, some of the people that caused the pain cannot help you the way you may think.
Defeat Anxiety and Live in the Moment Daily
After you research, talk and or write out your anxiety triggers, letting go becomes much easier. You’ve now started to defeat these it. Notice, you still have to work at this. To do this, try to monitor the types of encounters that surface and the personalities of people.
Think about keeping your boundaries at the forefront, and be clear about them. Please know that you’re not wrong for doing this. It’s perfectly okay and don’t feel guilty about this choice.
The key here is consistency, application, and loyalty to your new self and evaluation. Stay true to it because more challenges will surface.
Another thing to keep in mind is that you have wonderful gifts to offer to people who deserve them.
We have differing gifts that make up the world. Anxiety will manifest in our actions, which prevents our gifts from birthing and or maturing.
Anxiety causes struggles and produces resistance. It gives rise to inconsistencies. Anxiety promotes hurtful actions.
I confront any anxiety that tries to surface daily. This means I have self-awareness, or in this case, anxiety awareness.
Awareness is when you have knowledge or perception of a situation or fact. It is also a concern about and well-informed interest in a particular situation or development.
What do you perceive about yourself that is factual? What knowledge do you have about yourself that is factual?
When you tune into self, that’s the time you monitor your actions and reactions. Tuning into self will help you make better decisions than previous ones.
Tuning into self will train you to use resistance towards anxiety, and look to LIVE IN THE MOMENT at every given opportunity.
Overall, these moments of anxiety discovery are beautiful awakenings. And you realize that your nurturing self is a gift to others were born with. It’s good to continue to grow into this person.